Diary of a Fabulous Wizard
by FriendofTheAcorns
Summary: Some of the major events that happen in the book told from Howl's point of view in his journal. This was originally a school project, but a pretty fun school project.


Dearest Diary of Mine,

Sometimes, I do wonder if my negligent presence in my fabulous moving castle allows its other inhabitants (Calcifer, out of sheer necessity and Michael, whom I do not even know how and why he came to be here) to believe they can just allow anyone in the door and let them reside here. Not that I mind, entirely, but it was just mildly surprising to come home and see a ninety year old woman proclaiming that she was to hold stay in my home.

And what's more, she's bullied Calcifer, and was cooking upon him. Usually, I trust Calcifer to scare away those who come to ask for residency in my rather crowded, yet splendid home. After all, not many people have seen a fire demon before, and Calcifer is quite a scary looking specimen.

Anyhow, this ninety year old woman, who is now the self-proclaimed "cleaning lady" of the house, turns out to be nobody but the scared girl I had attempted to buy a drink for on May Day. I believe I may have been much too beautiful for her to visually take in all at once (what else can I say, I'm a fine being indeed), so she had fled whether quickly. She was a mousy, conservative sort of dresser, I recalled, and now her age is in correlation with the boring clothes she wore. Of course, she doesn't seem to _want_ to be recognized, so I shan't do anything about it. In addition, the curse she is under is strong, one from the Witch of the Waste, and I frankly can't do much about it at the moment.

Besides, it seems as if the girl is completely content with being an old woman. All I could do is cast some spells to help out with the aches of an elderly woman. And all I want to do.

For an old woman, she is far too robust to the point I fear her. Imagine if my powerful magic helps her out. She may tear this entire castle apart, and heavens say it won't move again.

Well, I did aid her in cooking, but that was more for Calcifer's state. He was not too pleased that a strange woman was forcing him to become her stove. Calcifer can be somewhat proud.

Afterwards, I gave the lady some information about her new surroundings, which yielded amusing results. Despite the fact the castle seems like a full-fledged castle on the outside, it really is the size of an average home, which the old bat was taken aback by.

I deduced that though it may be irksome having an old bat flitting around demanding to clean and offer servitude, it may just be fun. And I, the Wizard Howl, enjoy fun. In fact, I had some more fun courting a few local women from Market Chipping prior to arriving home to the castle. Of course, I never do a single thing about those jaunty, temporary flings, but it is always nice to have young women pay lots of notice to your beauty.

Lately, I've been going around hoping to blacken my name. And when I feel too lazy to, I send Michael. See, I wouldn't want any wizard thinking that I am good. Usually, it goes this way: good wizards work more. Do I like to work? Heavens no! I enjoy my free state of being, not being forced down into anything.

The newest rumor, which the old bat seems to be aware of, is that I eat girls' hearts. the look in her lively crinkled eyes, I could tell she had heard that one, since it was discreet that she feared me to some extent. That, or she simply looked at me that way since she recognized how strikingly handsome I was today in my blue and gray suit. If it were to be the latter, I would say she was not the first to.

The day ended with a knock from the Kingsbury door, the red knob of the door to many places, and I was half scared that the King was calling upon me to do work. Thankfully, it was just payment for the two thousand pairs of seven-leagued boots he ordered, much to my relief.

As the old bat was squabbling her surprise at the door to many places, I decided it was time for me to take a bath. My beautiful features do not clean themselves, and require some work to keep them along. Holding my well-deserved payment which will be spent on buying magnificent clothes to adorn my good looks, I called to Calcifer to prepare the bath.

Why, one of the most eventful days in a while ended so plainly. Ah, well.

Until more exciting things take place,

Wizard Howl Pendragon

(for Howell Jenkins is all too plain.)


End file.
